The Empress' Revenge

So the other day Blue and the folks went somewhere for a little while and came back smelling of a strange place. Today Bentley and I suspect we were taken to the same locale.

The day got off to a wonderful start - Mom made homemade blueberry buttermilk pancakes and we each got a spud-sized portion with Maine maple syrup. Then, it started to get ugly.

First, Dad starts cleaning all our drool and hair off the cabinets with some lemon-smelling spray. Then he breaks out these stinky, flowery smelling cloths and rubs us down, taking away all our hard work building up our special “essence”, then to really add insult to injury he CLEANS OUR EARS!

Can you imagine???

We were all excited to get in the car, even though we didn’t smell right, because we thought we might be going someplace fun. Well, we ended up at this place where first they weighed us (don’t they know you shouldn’t ask a lady her age or weight?), then this guy who looked like chef Hubert Keller and Mom and Dad called “doctor” stuck each of us with needles.

Bentley went first and squeaked like a puppy. Blue pretended not to react to his, but I know better. Then the evil man snuck up on me while I was reading the most interesting P-mail on the floor. He surprised me so bad I tinkled myself.

That is no way to treat a princess!

When we got home, Mom gave us each what she called a “dental chew”, but it sure tasted like fresh Caribou to me. I had just gotten it all squishy and perfect and then this hand came into my field of view and tried to take the tasty Caribou haunch away. Well, as any good huntress would do I took Dad downtown to Ree Ree town for daring to approach my kill. I also swallowed the chew, I mean haunch, whole.

Then the folks went and played golf for hours, leaving us with no way to open the cabinet where the rest of the Caribou was stashed.

Much later, after we all retired for the evening, I, Empress Ree, extracted my revenge and tried to vaporize the peasants with my atomic cabbage gas while they slept.

Her esteemed highness,

The Empress Ree

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